You are NOT a CHURCH PLANTING Husband. You are a husband who is planting a church. Their is a distinctive difference between the two.
Let me give a few disclaimers and facts right up front:
-
I have been a church planter for 2.5 years
- I have been married for 4.5 years
- I do NOT have kids
- I do NOT get it right a lot of the time
- I am NOT an expert
- I am NOT the best church planter
- I am NOT the best husband
Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless.
- Set up all the stuff that is below this line before you ever set your CHURCH- Calendar. For some of you it's too late to go that route this yet, so sit down now and work it out.
- Sit down with both you and your wifes calendars at the beginning of each year draw out a master calendar for the two of you.
- What night of the week is date night. (get off you butt and plan something. if you can plan a worship service you can plan a date. i realize funds are limited, so be creative. I am still making less now than when I was a student minister. I can't do the Ruth's Chris thing either, but we do have a date at least once a week)
- When are you going on vacation with just the 2 of you for more than one night at a time? (I know I don't have kids but I know men who do and they put this into practice and they are still in ministry. By the way, that are in the minority of those they started with) I would recommend this at least 2 X a year.
- Once a quarter spend the night together AWAY FROM HOME. I say away from home rather than out of town, because sometimes it stresses the wife out to have to "get ready" to go out of town. I am ok with the out of town thing if that doesn't stress your wife out. Renie and I love going to the Embassy Suites right here in Columbia. It may sound lame to you but it is great for us. We order in dinner from Miyo's (asian cuisine). Set up the living room space as a dining room. We rent a movie on the TV (they have movies playing that are sill in theaters) We order desert. Then we make-out. YES, I SAID THAT. More pastors need to make out with their wives rather than some woman they are "counseling"....it is killing the church of America as well as families. So yea, make-out a good bit. Sleep-in...resting together is important. Also, Embassy has an incredible made-to-order breakfast that is included in the cost. Then go home smiling. PUT THIS ON THE CALENDAR (4 X a year at least) NOW OR YOU WON'T DO IT.
- After setting up all of the dates and times that you guys have intentionally set aside (that obviously doesn't include the spontaneous things or eating dinner together at home throughout the week or whatever) figure out what is a fair amount of dates for you to be away from home. I do a good bit of ministry out of town these days, but believe me Renie and I sat down and talked through it NOT after the fact, but before the fact.
- Also, each quarter come back to the calendar and make sure that everything is still in place and working for the both of you. Constant communication is key when dealing with your schedules and the time you spend together.
YOUR WIFE COMES WAY BEFORE THE CHURCH. If you didn't get anything else. Don't just understand that simple truth actually apply it.
This is a post that my friend and co-worker here at Midtown posted on his blog (www.chriskakaras.com) last week. By the way go by his blog leave him a comment...he just got engaged this past Saturday. Anyways, below is a blog he did on Tithing.
TITHING
I have been trying to do research on tithing just because I want to have a full understanding on it and outside of Malachi 3:8-10 I don’t really think much past it. While, looking through different things I hear arguments against
tithing and lots of them make me laugh. The #1 thing against it I see
is that we are under a New Covenant. Under the Old Covenant was law,
the New Covenant is grace. This is actually true, the only problem with
this is the Bible.
A couple things in scripture I want to point out. First I want to point out what Malachi 3:6 says (just 2 verses before the tithing verse that everyone goes to). This is the first place I get the idea that God doesn’t change.
It says, “I the Lord do not change…” Brilliant.
The other thing is when Jesus brought a new covenant he didn’t come to abolish the law, he actually came to enhance it. He stepped everything UP not down. Matthew 5:19-28 is where Jesus talks about how under the law, the command is to not murder, but if you are angry with your brother it is like murder. Or in the law it says ‘do not commit adultery,’ but Jesus says if anyone looks at a woman lustfully it he has committed adultery.
He is enhancing the law, not canceling it.
If this wasn’t convincing enough. Jesus flat out comments on his stance on if we should give a tenth or not. Matthew 23 is the Seven Woes chapter where Jesus goes off on some pharisees. Look closely at Matthew 23:23.
“Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You give a TENTH of your spices—mint, dill and cummin. But you have neglected the more important matters of the law—justice, mercy and faithfulness. You should have practiced the latter, WITHOUT NEGLECTING THE FORMER.”
Jesus has a great point, the HEART of the passage is that the Pharisees are neglecting justice, mercy and faithfulness. But Jesus clearly points out that they should be doing this while still giving a tenth. We need to do both, not just one and say that is good enough.
I just wanted to share some thoughts as I was reading through different points of view. I definitely like having proof to support this point of view but in all honesty more than anything else we should be WANTING to give to God. All of our money is 100% His anyway. You will never see a U-Haul attached to a hearse.
When you hear a message in church on tithing, trust me it is not because they need the money. God comes through time and time again and I actually love it when pastors say, “we are not begging for money, we really don’t need it. God has proven that He takes care of it.”
The motivation behind a tithing talk is not trying to tell you what to do with $10. But trying to show you how to live your life.
Here at Midtown from day one have wanted to be a part of what God is doing all over the world. Some church planter/pastors believe that Acts 1:8 is a prescriptive plan of action for the church today. The idea is that we should first reach our city, then our state, then our country, and then the finally we can go oversees to the rest of the world. So in reality these churches never end up doing anything beyond a certain mile radius of their current location. Acts 1:8 ends with the phrase "ends of the earth." Well, that is the point we are at today. God has given us the amazing responsibility to take His message of truth and love to the ends of the Earth. In that we must NOT only reach or neighbor, (which for some is tougher to do than going to Brazil on some mission trip...there are too many folks going to other countries sharing their money and faith, while their neighbor cannot pay the bills and had NO clue who Jesus is.....) but we must also be aggressively strategic in the way we seek to take the gospel message to the rest of the world. It is interesting if you read Acts 28 (the last chapter) and while reading pay attention to how it ends. Most books in the bible have a conclusion statement. Look at the book of John as an example. It it says, Jesus did many other things as well. If every one of them were written down, I suppose that even the whole world would not have room for the books that would be written." See how that actually brings some type of closure to what you have been reading. Acts doesn't do that at all. That is because the strategic plan of the book of Acts which is lade out in Acts 1:8 is NOT complete. That is why you hear many people say we are living in the 29th Chapter of Acts. That is why Mark Driscoll's church planting organization is called Acts 29. We are in it. Anyways, you get my point. Go to the ends of the earth and do not wait till you have enough money or resources because if that is the case you will never do it.
When we started Midtown we set a goal to be on foreign soil in our first year. I will admit we didn't take off to Indonesia in our first year, but we began an partnership with a missionary in the Yucatan Peninsula. We also said from the beginning we did NOT want to just drop in a country one year and another one the next. We have from the beginning wanted to set up permanent partnerships.
Here are the reasons for global partnership, rather than variety:
- you build real relationships with the missionaries
- you build real relationships with the locals (they remember you year after year)
- you truly learn the needs of the missionaries and the community over time (by time I do NOT mean 7 days, rather years)
- you expose your people to the same place over time (there hearts are shaped for the people)
- your people will want to go their to live and serve (o' no that might hurt our sunday attendance.....by the way we need to start measuring or growth NOT by how many people we retain, but rather how many people we develop and release)
- partnership is more beneficial to the missionary (ask a international missionary...they will tell you)
- partnership is more beneficial to your church
- financially it gets cheaper each year for the most part (people have their shots, passports, and you learn the area and the deals that are out there)
- the trips gets better every year (you learn the right restaurants, markets, etc.)
- RELATIONSHIPS (did I mention that one...that is the main reason)
MIDTOWN'S GLOBAL MISSIONS STRATEGY
We currently have a partnership in the Yucatan Peninsula of Mexico. We have been going there for 2 years now and will be going back for our 3rd trip this Summer. It has been our desire from the beginning to ADD (not change to another place) a new partnership after every 2 years. Well, 2 years is up and we are starting our 2nd Global Partnership with a missionary in Mali, Africa. We will be ministering in "The Bush" area of the country to the Bambara people group (98% Muslim). We are currently scheduled to be in Mali, Africa twice this year. We are looking to buy land, build a well (the village we will be partnering with has NO clean water at all), and build a building that in due time will become a community center/church. We are pumped God keeps opening these type of doors of opportunity for us a church. I want a building like crazy here in Columbia, but I must admit it will be pretty awesome to have a land, and a building in Africa before Columbia. After 2 years we hope to ADD a third partnership, potentially in the Asia region of our globe.
*By the way sign-ups for our Global Trips for this year begin THIS SUNDAY!
Here is a highlight video from our trip 2 years ago:
I hope everyone that drops by this blog is having a great day. I wanted to drop an update on all that happened this past week if you are interested. Honestly, a lot has happened so I am going to do it bullet point form. Later this week I will be starting a new blog series.
Updates are as follows:
- I interview with the North American Mission Board last week on Wed., Thurs., and Friday.
- My time at NAMB went extremely well and I am pumped about the doors that God is opening through this opportunity to serve not only as a church planter here in Columbia but also as a strategist for future and existing church plant.
- God placed a call on my life as a sophomore in college to be a part of seeing the church in North America change and now he is putting me in places to help be a part of that mission.
- I got the job for the most part. The Board of Trustees has to put their seal of approval on it Feb. 5th.
- I will go ahead and begin the job now.
- I will be traveling a little more than I did in 2007. And working approximately 10 days a month within this new position
- Again, I am pumped about his opportunity, but I have to be honest it doesn't even come close to how excited I am about all that God is doing within our family at Midtown.
- I drove from my interviews in Atlanta, GA straight to Gatlinburg, TN for our Midtown "Family Vacation" (some of you may call it a Leadership Retreat, others may call it an "advance".....whatever)
- 75 people crammed into 2 mountain houses was so much fun.
- I love these trips more than almost anything we do at Midtown. We do 2 a year. One in Jan. and the other in Aug.
- We have fun together, pray together, worship together, and challenge each other as we head into a new year.
- We came back on Sunday and began our typical load in for The Gathering at 3pm.
- WE STARTED OUR 3rd GATHERING this past Sunday.
- It was extremely tiring to come off a week of interviews, a weekend retreat, and then preach 3 - 50 min. sermons back to back to back.....BUT ABSOLUTELY WORTH IT.
- We had 435 people with 240ish of those people attending the 7:15 Gathering. We actually had people sitting in the hallway listening but NOT seeing anything. That is really awesome and all but NOT acceptable, we must open up seats for people to sit in if we want to continue to be a family/church that is on mission.
- If you call Midtown home or are visiting from out of town PLEASE COME TO THE 5:30pm OR 9:00pm GATHERING.
- I ended my weekend on Sunday night with a chicken-melt from none other than the incredible Waffle House.
- Monday morning I performed our last staff evaluation of the season with one of my best friends and non-paid staff members Beau Bailey.
- I had lunch with our vision team, like I do every Monday. Once a month now though we have Neal McGlohon, Church Planting Strategist and Consultant, coming in to work with us and help us become better at what we are doing as missionaries here in Downtown Columbia, SC
- I went running/walking with Beau Bailey...it's a new thing for both of us. You know the whole New Years deal.
Just a quick post...I am in Atlanta, GA for the next few days interviewing with the North American Mission Board. NO, I am NOT leaving Midtown. This will be a job I am pretty much already doing out of Columbia now. I am interviewing to become what they call a Next Generation Church Planting Strategist. It is an extremely long title I know, but I can work with it for sure. If everything goes well this would free up some finances at Midtown, which would be an amazing blessing from God.
I am honestly NOT sure what happens during an interview that last 3 days, but I will find out here in about 45 min. Thanks so much for your prayers over the couple of days. WOW...someone must have already been praying because my friend Steve Canter, who works at NAMB, just called me while I was posting here and said he would be doing the main part of my interview tomorrow. That is awesome! Thanks for the prayers and I will post some more thoughts later on how everything is going and what God is teaching me.
I read blogs a decent amount and tend to look at what different churches are doing around our country. But I was recently reading a blog that displayed Outreach Magazines Top 25 Most Innovative Churches in America. Drum roll please...............................................guess who made the list?...back to the drum roll......................................guess? Nope NOT Midtown, but a bunch of awesome churches that are doing incredible things across our country. A few months back my roommate from college sent me a link to the 2008 preliminary list, which listed some 120 or so churches and Midtown actually made that list. That tripped me out. I was dying laughing. How did Midtown make a national list. Someone obviously nominated us to that original list. By the time it reached the hands of the men and woman who put the final list together well Midtown didn't make it....no big deal of course.
As I read through the list that I have listed below I saw some incredible churches on the list that are doing incredible things for the Kingdom of God. So why am I writing about this?
2 Main Reasons
- What is innovation anyways? Let's take a look. Innovation - something new or different introduced. The act of innovating; introduction of new things or methods. I honestly do NOT know all of the churches that are on that list, but I have either attended a service of or met the pastor of 10 of the 25 churches that are on the list below. I have to be honest for the most part it seems that it is a list of the largest or fastest churches in America minus just a few. Now I am not making this argument at all for the fact that I think Midtown should be on the list, because I do NOT think Midtown should make this list at the point we are right now. Sure we have done some innovative things, but none that would get us on a list like that. And I am not making this argument, because I do NOT like the churches that are on th list. I do like the churches on the list and have learned a ton from the majority of them. But if innovation means the introduction of new things or methods. I want to know what these churches are doing that has NOT already been done in the last 10 years. Let's NOT forget Willow Creek Church started almost 30 years ago. I just think the churches on this list are for the most part large in their attendance, have a great communicator as their Sunday morning teacher/preacher, have a great band, use motion graphics, videos, are and are multi-site or are moving in that direction. All those things are good and awesome, but they are NOT new methods...they have been around for a long time now. Multi-site was introduced a number of years back by Seacoast in Charleston, SC, but it is all of a sudden a new idea. Thank you Seacoast for paving the way with that innovative idea and all the other churches that paved the way for many of the other awesome ideas I listed above. The two questions I have and want to hear about is...what new methods are there? I am ready to hear and see them. And why is Imago Dei of Portland,Oregon not on the list...look what they did for Christmas the last two years. In accordance to the definition that right there is what being innovative is all about. Now I know Rick McKinely the Lead Pastor of Imago Dei was on the panel who decided the final list, but so was Tony Morgan, who works on the staff of my formal employer New Spring Church of Anderson,SC. (great church) Imago Dei, incredible job...that is innovation.
- Your community needs you to be you, NOT the smaller franchise version of some mega-church. As awesome as some of the churches are in this list please find your own way. Read the bible...do what it says. Study your community and culture then contextualize the scriptures. Sure, then go and look at what some of the other churches are doing and be inspired, but let's not copy them directly. Figure out who you are...that through the spirit of God in you is what will change your city.
Here's the list of America's Most Innovative Churches of 2008:
- LifeChurch.tv, Edmond, OK, Craig Groeschel
- Mars Hill Church, Seattle, WA, Mark Driscoll
- Granger Community Church, Granger, IN, Mark Beeson
- Flamingo Road Church, Cooper City, FL, Troy Gramling
- Seacoast Church, Mount Pleasant, SC, Greg Surratt
- Saddleback Church, Lake Forest, CA, Rick Warren
- Mosaic Church, Los Angeles, CA, Erwin McManus
- Fellowship Church, Grapevine, TX, Ed Young
- North Point Community Church, Alpharetta, GA, Andy Stanley
- Willow Creek Community Church, South Barrington, IL, Bill Hybels
- National Community Church, Washington, DC, Mark Batterson
- NewSpring Church, Anderson, SC, Perry Noble
- Community Christian Church, Naperville, IL, Dave Ferguson
- Elevation Church, Charlotte, SC, Steven Furtick
- Healing Place Church, Baton Rouge, LA, Dino Rizzo
- North Coast Church, Vista, CA, Larry Osborne
- NorthWood Church, Keller, TX, Bob Roberts
- NewSong Church, Irvine, CA, Dave Gibbons
- New Hope Christian Fellowship, Honolulu, HI, Wayne Cordeiro
- Redeemer Presbyterian Church, New York, NY, Tim Keller
- Crossover Church, Tampa, FL, Tommy Kyllonen
- Perimeter Church, Duluth, GA, Randy Pope
- Mars Hill, Grandville, MI, Rob Bell
- The Orchard Church Community, Aurora, IL, Scott Hodge
- The Sanctuary Covenant Church, Minneapolis, MN, Efrem Smith
I love to travel and have done it a good bit in my life. My parents lived in Europe for a number of years before I was born and so growing up we traveled a good bit due to the travel bug they have always had. Traveling is something everyone needs to do on a consistent basis as long as it is affordable or someone else is paying for you.
- Traveling allows you to become more cultured beyond what is normal and comfortable.
- Traveling allows you to appreciate what is normal and comfortable....home.
For some reason I am scheduled to do a ton of traveling...more than ever in a given year. God has been and continues to open the doors of opportunity for learning, ministering, serving, and teaching beyond the walls of my own city. I think this is a healthy thing for me as long as it does NOT hinder my time with Renie and my time leading Midtown.
Over the next 6 weeks I will be traveling to:
- Atlanta, GA - I am interviewing with the North American Mission Board. I will potentially be doing some Strategy and Consulting work with them for future church planters.
- Gatlinburg, TN - At Midtown we love to get a our "Missionaries" (you might call them members or volunteer leaders) twice a year for what we call a "Family Vacation" (you might call it a Leader Retreat or a Leader Advance) it is a time of encouragement, challenge, escape, and vision.
- Myrtle Beach, SC - I will be traveling to the beach for CONVERGE, a college retreat. There I will be meeting and talking with college students about potentially being a part of the missional church planting.
- Lynchburg, VA - It looks like I am going to be traveling to Liberty University a few times throughout the next 12 months. They have an amazing Church Planting department within their Seminary. I will be working with some of the potential church planters throughout the year.
- ISRAEL - An awesome friend and mentor of mine, Don Brock, Senior Pastor of Gateway Church invited my wife and to travel with him and 10 others to Israel to tour the Holy Land. This is a dream come true for me. I was hoping to go there upon graduation of college, but that was the same year of September 11th and the government and my parents would not allow me to travel to the middle east. But now I get to go and it is with my wife, even better they we together get to share this experience. Don Brock is the man and I am pumped to have him as a friend and mentor.
Also, this year I may be going to Mexico and West Africa. These are our two current strategic international partners at Midtown. We are doing what ever we can to help the missionaries there reach and serve the people in those regions with the gospel of Jesus. I am pretty sure Renie and I will both be traveling to Africa in December.
Traveling is like most things in life...it is good and healthy when done in moderation. I probably need to slow down, but we will see.
These are some to the subjects I hope to cover over the next couple of months here on this blog.
FUTURE BLOGS:
- Being married and planting a church
- The House Church - is it good, bad, or ugly
- The Mega Church - is it good, bad, or ugly
- The Missional Church - is it good, bad, or ugly....what is it?
- Should we be teaching topically or verse by verse?
- Giving Money away as a church - what does this look like?
- How to find your own voice and NOT copy everyone elses
- Staffing around the vision vs. the typical staffing flow chart
For the 4,000 of you that read this blog...ok let's be honest the 4 of you that read this blog - are their any topics that you would like to see on this blog? email me and let me know dwillis@midtowncolumbia.com
